How To Improve Your Relationship When Your Partner Isn’t Helping

Lisa Yaeger, LPC
3 min readAug 10, 2023

Is it your relationship that makes you happy?

When its not going so well, is it your relationship that makes you unhappy?

For many people the answer is yes. Definitely yes!

If you are like many of my clients, you may be frustrated because your partner is not willing to come to couples therapy with you.

If they don’t want to come, you’re stuck, right?

Actually no. You are not stuck!

You can do so much to help your relationship by learning good relationship skills yourself.

In fact, I love teaching the motivated one (is that you?) how to see differently and act differently.

And guess what?

It works.

You learn and your relationship begins to grow.

Are you wondering what you’ll learn and how it helps? I’ll tell you.

(Some of this you might already know. Because I know that you’re the motivated one.)

Since I’ve become a well-trained couple’s therapist, I’ve noticed a shift in how I work with individuals. I still tune in and feel empathy for you, my client. I’m still on your side you might say.

I’m your advocate. But now, I understand how your actions are probably affecting your partner. I can help you predict it, right there in our session.

If I can help you slow down and understand the dynamics of what’s happening in a tense conversation, when you say that and they say that…

You can see where it’s going.

You will begin to see how to get a different result.

We start with understanding you, where you come from, your feelings, your goals.

Together, we work on helping you regulate your emotions and communicate better than ever.

You can learn to:

  • Be brave in speaking up
  • Be clear on what you want to say
  • Help your partner be able to hang in there and listen to you
  • Know when to listen to your partner
  • Learn when its time to look for solutions and when its too soon

If you are ready to work on some of this with a coach or therapist, sign up for a free 20 minute video consultation or call me.

In the meantime, here are some steps to get you started.

I recommend doing some writing about these questions.

  1. What experiences do I have in my history that make this current situation more tense, scary, or emotional for me?
  2. What do I know about my partner that might make this harder for them?
  3. Am I able to talk about one problem at a time, or are there other things that I won’t be able to resist throwing in there once I start this discussion?

I want you to know, I have a plan. And part of the plan is that you get to be happier.

You get to be the center of your own life again.

In spite of whether your relationship is thriving or not.

And because it can be.

If you are ready to make some changes in your life and in your relationship, Call me today for an appointment and I’ll help you figure it out.